It is so hard to try so hard for our horses and then to have to let
them go and we find ways to blame ourselves -- even after we have gone
to truly heroric extents to help our friends.
I know because when I let little Harley go last March, I could even't
post on this list because I blamed myself for not being able to fix
him. What if I had soaked the hay three times instead of just three?
What if I had figured out earlier, the right way to trim him? What if
I had kept him on the last round of meds? And on and on and on...
Now I know that blaming myself was a way for me to try and hold back
all the grief. What if I had done this, what if I had done that?
Could I have stopped death? At least when I was blaming myself, I
wasn't drowning in tears. And there were a lot of tears.
It's been about 8 months since Harley's passing. I think of Harley
everyday. I still cry -- cried when I read Dee's post. But here's the
thing I know now, that helps me:
Little Harley came into my life for huge reasons. He taught me about
unconditional love, stamina, patience and hope (to name a few!) And
when we said goodbye, he tauhgt me that love never really ends. For
awhile, I saw him in my dreams and now I feel him around the ranch. I
mean sometimes I swear, he's here.
I think horses do that for us to help us get the part about love never