Re: Kay and anyone else [long and teary].

Susan Laflamme <f4mlatir@...>

Kay and Linda,
In January Darby was in so much pain she was having such a hard time
walking it would take me an hour to get her turned around and back into the
barn. I was so scared. I was not ready to say goodbye and all I could think
of was the fact that I wouldn't be able to bury her here at home because
the ground was frozen.
Darby was the very first horse my daughter had, we have had her for 13
years and I was so afraid of horses when we got her. My daughter joined
pony club and we all learned. I treasure this horse because she brought my
daughter through all kinds of things including those tough teen age years.
We had no idea how old she was but she learned to do dressage, x-country
and everything else that pony clubbers do,she must have been in her late
20's when we bought her. I never let her know that she is probably almost
as old as me, her spirit is what see's her through her laminitis, she is
not willing to give up although this last time she almost did.
I recall getting so angry at her because she could not lift her foot, it
hurt too much to put all her weight on the bad one.....I couldn't stand up
straight because my back was so sore from trying to lift her darn
feet.....I had a talk with her then I told her that she had to try and I
couldn't do it alone but I couldn't give up either. I guess Darby was not
ready to give up her spirit because she kept fighting too.
I love this horse, I know now that when it is time to say goodbye I will
know. I almost gave up on her because I could not stand to see her pain I
am so thankful that we made it through that and she is doing well now.
We take one day at a time and with a horse that is 40 years old each day is
a wonderful gift. I still do not want to think about the end and my hope is
that she will go peacefully in her sleep and spare me the anguish of making
that decision. I can't imagine life without Darby she is such a part of our

At 04:55 PM 4/20/00 -0800, you wrote:
Linda, these are wise words and they help me to refocus. Today, I have been
thinking too much about how it feels to me to be dealing with this. I need
to think more about how it feels to my horse....and to listen to what he is
telling me. He is still pretty happy, and has a good home and a good buddy
(Icelandic gelding) to be with. If the time comes when he can only live
inside, that would make him miserable. I have an old woman-friend who has
been basically telling me the same thing...guess I haven't been listening
well enough. It takes a lot of trust for me to feel confidant that I will
know when it is time to say goodbye. That happened with my old dog last
Spring...I did know because he told me unmistakeably. I have to trust that
Domino will tell me, too, and he certainly hasn't yet. Thanks...I know
talking about these things can stir up a lot of feelings for those of us who
truly love our animals. Kay in AK

Linda Borgo wrote:

When it comes time that she can't live her life on her terms, I will
end it for her, the part of her I love most will be the reason I put
her down. My young horse I think differently about, she will endure
quite a bit. both horses have kind of told me what they want from
the young one will endure and the old one will ask for release. I
think we might all have to ask our horses what they want and try our
best to figure it out for them. I feel my heart breaking sometimes
thinking about it, I hope I can do what my horses ask of me.

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