Thank you all and goodbye for now

Kay Howitt <akkray@...>

Thank you, Susan and seem to understand the situation. I have 'let go'
of the outcome and feel a sense of peace. I will go ahead with my treatments and
see what happens in a couple of months. I am doing my best and giving my Domino
all my love, as I have done for 12 years.

To those of you who might be angry at me or who do not understand what's going
on, I hope you can relax and allow me and Domino and God to work this out. All
over the world horses are busy being born and busy is the cycle of
Life. Man alone does not have the power to right all wrongs or heal all ills.
Each one of us has their own personal capacity for love and caretaking and no one
can say what is right for another. I know in my own heart that I have reached the
end of my energy for this fight. If I told you every detail, every severe problem
Domino has come through with my help you might see my point of view...or maybe
you would still not understand. Some of you would never have been able to pour
the money into the vet bills Dom has incurred over 12 years and you would have
had to stop long ago. I know lots of folks for whom available money is the
determining factor in what they can do for a horse. I am fortunate to have had
the money and a very loving and supportive husband. This is not a money issue,
but one of emotional resources. I am a sensitive person and have anguished more
than I could possibly describe. I just can't keep doing it.

Domino is tired. He has been a brave and noble friend and has taught me to trust
in myself and in love. I refuse to prolong his pain on the slim chance he will
become well again. This situation is not of recent development, nor is it a
simple case of letting a horse's feet grow out. The history is complex, the
periods of trouble frequent and those times of comfort in short supply.

When Dom was first diagnosed I began reading everything I could find about
Cushings. The veterinary manuals all agreed that average lifespan after diagnosis
is 3 years, with laminitis and abscesses the most common reason for a horse's
death. I had hope to cheat the odds, as some of you have done. It doesn't look
like this will happen for us, though. If Dom has had Cushings as long as I
suspect, which would be about 7 years, we have actually had tremendous success,
but we don't have a cure.

I appreciate all the concern, prayers and recommendations which have poured in. I
would like now to be able to just get on with my business of caring for my
friend. I do not have the energy to care for him and my other animals as well as
to defend my decisions to well-meaning strangers. I will make the most considered
and loving decision I can. I am an intelligent, committed and compassionate
person and I will work through this. Wish us luck or pray for us in your own way,
and let us go. I am going to unsubscribe for now and will give an update sometime
in the future. With love to you all, Kay in AK

LNGERZ@... wrote:

Kay, I just want to say, sometimes we have to Let Go and Let God. You have
done so much for this baby. My thoughts are with you today, and my candle is
lit for you and for you to have the wisdom to do what is best for Domino. I
know the feelings of doubt, the guilt that you are feeling because you can't
cure your friend, but this is not your fault. You just must remember one
thing. I have learned it over the years and though it doesn't stop those
feelings, it is, nevertheless, the truth. We can only do our best, that is
all we can do! You, my friend, are doing exactly that. Take comfort in
knowing that and know that Domino knows that too.
Kay, who believes this with her whole heart and is sending you positive
thoughts, way up there in Fairbanks


I'm glad you came on this list and have looked forwrd to your posts.
I my thoughts are with you and your horse.
The fight is tiring and at some point we will all know when it's time
to rest and let things be the way they are. We each are going
our own grief and are at different points of acceptance. It may be
hard for some folks that are just beginning this fight to understand
that a time comes when we give up control, they are still hoping they
have control over this disease, when actually none of us have any
control in the long run, we just do our best.
I hope for your horse and both of mine, that it is quiet and peaceful
for them at the end, shoot I hope that for all of us.

Susan Laflamme <f4mlatir@...>

Hi Kay,
I am exactly where you are. I know the tired and I will send prayers and
the best of thoughts to you, yours and Domino.
And thank you for taking such good care of your horse.